For the twelve months following Beyond The Pale, Alf had been beavering away playing with a new toy – Cubase. There weren’t a great many new songs, but those that had emerged were now getting a finish in the Back Pocket satellite studio only previously dreamt of. Then illness struck and musical life went into total limbo. When enough strength returned to pick up the guitar, this one came spurting out in minutes. It was indeed good to be back.
Severe illness is the strangest of spaces and in this case it provoked severe self-judgement and an extreme disinterest in most of the prized things in life (except history, oddly). Contemplating the end was, however, a calm process. Drifting through the weeks under the control of the dreaded quacks, eating chicken soup almost exclusively, refusing to have anything to do with any form of media except books – a truly very odd space.
lyrics
BEEN AWAY
Been away a while now
Had a long time to think about everything I lack
And let me tell you I found plenty
It's good to be back
Been away a while now
I've seen places I wouldn't want you to go
Been fighting off these demons
Progress was slow
But when I saw the ending, I was not afraid
I knew the grand illusion, my fear was of the pain
An end or beginning, but surely not in vain?
Been away a while now
My mind, it wandered, right off track
Some strange warp I've been in
It's good to be back
Been away a while now
Living in a novel with no plot
The boring central character
Finds out all that he is not
When you feel the power, of someone else's game
You are just a problem, just another name
And when the hour cometh, control must be regained
And when my hour cometh, how will I stay sane?
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